It is settled, we are going to meet on Tuesday. We live more than 100 miles apart, at least I think. Because I still don’t know where he lives or what his real name is. I can hear you thinking, come on Anne, it is not wise to meet a man like this. But somehow, I trust him, more important… I trust myself to be able to make a good judgment.
“I don’t know if I can act normal when I see you,” I say.
“Of course, you can and you will, I am not that scary. Just greet me with a kiss on the cheek,” he says.
He tells me he is coming with his van. The backseat windows are blinded, so no peeking from the outside. I wonder why he is telling me those details, I even think he didn’t say it on purpose.
“If I would be there, I would push you into the van, shut the door and jump on you right away,” I say.
“Wow, you are a bit aggressive,” he says.
“OK, I need to cool down. Let’s just have a drink first and talk to each other.”
“Yes, that would be wise.”
I am counting down the days till Tuesday. I am losing weight, because it is hard to get food through my throat. My whole stomach is not working, am I in love? What am I going to wear? Something normal, right? Not too fancy. Oh man, what am I doing. I decided to go shopping. I want skinny jeans with a low waist and a new casual white shirt with no prints. The jeans compliment my hips and behind, the shirt makes my sun-tanned face stand out. The vendor tells me I look wonderful. Yes, I agree in my mind. It is perfect and I will always remember this shirt as the one for my first date with him.
It is Tuesday, finally. It is hard to concentrate on my work, I keep checking my phone and listen to stupid love songs. I think I look great, no bad hair day, my skin is healthy. I even feel confident enough to not wear makeup. My shoes are off, because well, I am afraid that my feet will smell. Just a precaution. I check Google again to look for a place where we can have a drink, but most cafes seem to close early. But I found one next to the theatre. The theatre is our meeting point. I even found a backup cafe just in case. My God, how over prepared can you be? I am thinking. This isn’t healthy, but then again, it is who I am.
I am chatting with my husband. I tell him that this is his last hour.
“I want you so bad right now. I am going crazy in here. This is so humiliating,” he types with desperate emoticons.
“Be a good boy,” I say while sending him a picture of me licking my lips.
“Hmm you are so hot, have fun sweetheart.”
It is almost 8 o’clock. Just one more check in the bathroom. I warned my lover that I have my period. He laughed about it and said it was good. It would be like a natural stop for us, if we… Well you know. My phone lights up.
“I am a bit late,” he says.
I tell him to take his time, that I will leave from work a bit later too. I text my husband that I am on my way to meet my lover. He sounds worried and wants me to take the early train home. I have a GPS app so he can follow me, but still, it doesn’t calm him. He is afraid that if something happens… That he can’t help me, because he is not in the neighbourhood. I hope he trusts me with my judgment in men after this date.
Breathe in, breathe out. It is time to meet my lover. I slowly walk to the theatre, it is hot today, so I don’t want sweaty armpits. I feel my phone buzzing.
“Where are you? We meet at the entrance, right?” he says.
I smile, it seems he is just as nervous as I am. For the first time, it crosses my mind that it must be scary for him too, having a date with a woman you have never seen before. Imagine if one of us is having cold feet and leaves the other waiting. No, I can’t think that way.
“Yes, in front of the entrance. I will be there within a few minutes,” I say.
To reach the entrance of the theatre you must go down big stairs, like stairs you see at a temple. I totally forgot about that. Step by step I walk down. I see a tall man standing, watching his surroundings carefully. Is this… Is it him? I watch more closely and start to recognize him. He looks nervous. He looks up, it is like he felt that I was gazing at him. This is so nerve wracking. I feel shy and silly, because while he is standing there looking up, I am still walking down the stairs. It is like you are the only one naked… In public. Our eyes meet and we can’t stop smiling and looking at each other. Everything feels in slow motion. A Kiss on the cheek, just like we said in our chat.
The first thing I say is: “hi, oh my you are tall!”
Seriously, how stupid can I be, stating the obvious.
To be continued. Follow me to get a notification!