I am done with texting Kevin.
Girls want attention, that’s the truth. I also want attention from Kevin, but I don’t get it that often and I am not asking for it. I usually text him if I don’t receive a text from him for a few days, but this week I won’t.
My last real chat with Kevin was last Monday. He asked me if I was still happy after our last date. Of course, … I even wished for a new date. My reaction made him smile and he agreed on a new date next week. He had an important meeting on Tuesday and said that he would let me know how it went. My mind is brilliant and annoying at the same time, because I am someone who remembers almost everything. I heard nothing Tuesday night. Wednesday still nothing, so I text him how it went, but no response. I was getting worried on Friday. I asked him if everything is all right. Finally, I got a response. He was OK and busy with the kids. He told me he would text me later.
It is Monday now and still no sign of life. Maybe I am over analyzing (most women do that…). I know Kevin seriously has a full agenda and an important deadline a week from now and it is a kid’s holiday in our country, but I can’t help to feel neglected. Just a little kiss or a smiley would make my day. You can send a text when you go to the toilet, right? I don’t believe in having no time. You make time for things you really want. In my big head it means I am not important anymore or he simply thinks he has conquered me already and feels secure. I am not asking for much, am I? I am very patient with him, don’t whine to him and let him blow off steam.
To make it worse, my PMS is coming up. So, making decisions to confront Kevin about my feelings is the worst thing I could do. I tell Bob my frustrations and ask him for advice. Bob is against confronting Kevin.
“Most of the time you two chat about work, right?”
“That is true…”
“You don’t really want that, right? You prefer fantasizing.”
“Yes, that is what I want the most.”
“So… Why please him with listening to his stories about work? It seems Kevin can’t offer you what you really want. You even seem annoyed when he chats too long about his work. He barely shows interest in you anymore.”
“There is also truth in that.”
“I like Kevin, because he has his priorities straight and he is not trying to steal you from me. I was afraid at the start of your adventure that you would leave me. You acted crazy and felt too emotional towards Kevin. I don’t want that again. Just enjoy him for sex and understand he is a busy man. Give him his freedom and don’t text him. That is also the way to let a guy start missing you. The last thing you want is that Kevin sees you as an obligation.”
“I definitely don’t want to be an obligation to Kevin. I am afraid if I don’t feel connected to him, that I won’t enjoy the sex. I don’t know if I still want him in a sexual way if we are not talking weekly.”
“Are you talking to your friends weekly?”
“Yes. If I don’t hear from them…”
“Be honest! It is more like once a month.”
“OK, you are right. Maybe I really want too much. What is your opinion? Should I break with him?”
“No, why? You still have fun with him on a date. Find someone else to fulfill your need to fantasize.”
“Should I tell Kevin about it? That I need someone else.”
“No, you two have never defined your relationship. He doesn’t own you and you don’t own him. You have no right to confront him, just be his cheerful mistress and be there when he needs you.”
“But I want to be honest. He trusts me and feels secure.”
“He is not telling you anything about his history with dating and chatting with other women. Have you ever realized he might be cheating on you too? Normally people share about their past relations. You can also be quite naive. A Man can say lots of things to achieve his goal… You like to chat. There is no harm in having virtual erotic chats with others and I don’t like it if you get too close to Kevin again. Leave him be.”
Bob’s words are soothing my mind. He really is my rock and conscience. I am not going to text Kevin anymore until he texts me and I am not expecting a date this week like he told me. I truly believe he is just overworking himself with his upcoming deadline and is not cheating on me. To be honest I don’t mind if he needs another woman.
I know my way of thinking is naive, but I do feel at peace again in my mind. And… I should never forget what I keep telling Kevin, to never prioritize us above our own lives at home. I’ll be waiting for his text.
To be continued. Follow me to get a notification.