Eric loves the video of my second assignment. He is impressed, but also concerned that I choked myself. I was not assigned to do that and he enlightens me about choking. His concern for me makes me warm inside and I realize more and more that this world of BDSM is a very loving one.
Then he asks me if I recorded the masturbating part… I confess it to him that I did, but also that I felt fat on the video. Eric doesn’t want me to worry about it and wants me to feel comfortable sending him anything, erotic and non-erotic. I doubt a bit and then promise him to send him the video as soon as I can. It will be somewhere during next week, because I am going on a trip this weekend with friends.
I also told Kevin about the trip last Tuesday after his deadline, but I haven’t received a response from him yet. It is Friday now. I look at Bob and ask him if it is OK to ask Kevin if he isn’t interested in me anymore, to confront him. I tell Bob that I feel sad, because it seems to me Kevin is only being self-centered and forgetting about me. Bob agrees and approves.
OK, I sit on the bed and prepare myself for impact. Here goes nothing…
“Are you not interested in me anymore?”
“Why wouldn’t I be interested anymore? Do I not text you enough?”
“You were not responding anymore.”
“I am still working as we speak. I just read your messages.”
“I felt a bit insecure.”
“Sweetheart, that is OK, but really not necessary. I won’t run away. I am just not fast with responding. I don’t want to lose you if you were having doubts about that.”
“OK, I am sorry.”
“I do understand you though.”
“I just miss contact with you. Most of the time I am a big girl, but today it just hit me.”
“Does a virtual hug help you a bit?”
“A bit. I will leave you, so you can finish your work. I am sorry for disturbing you.”
“That is OK. I know I have been absent the last few weeks and I also do miss contact with you.”
“It is just hard sometimes.”
“I know. Do you feel sad?”
“It really isn’t my intention.”
“I will be all right and I am on my period. I do understand you are a busy man.”
“Yes, my girlfriend is not liking the situation too. I just want to finish everything as fast as I can, so I have a clean slate.”
“I understand. I do still like you very much!”
“My apologies for being silent.”
“I forgive you.”
“You have to know that I am very careful. What we have and what we can share is very precious to me. I never had that with anyone. I don’t know how to tell you this, but at home we are not active in the bedroom. So, the only times I have been intimate these last few months are with you.”
“I certainly don’t want your home situation to be like that. You don’t deserve that.”
“It is OK… What I want to say is, that I care a lot about our lucky moments together. Even if I don’t mention it too often.”
“Thank you for spending a bit of your time with me now. I realize I needed this.”
“Yes, I could feel it… And you are right to confront me. Again, it wasn’t on purpose to make you sad.”
“My apologies too. I could have confronted you in a more mature way, but if you could send me something once in a while, even if it is just a kiss. I would be so happy and it is a nice feeling to know that you are still there.”
“This is a wakeup call for me. I understand you now and of course… I am still here. I think about you a lot. More often than you realize.”
I wish Kevin was here, so he could hug me and wipe away my tears. I feel happy and secure about his feelings for me. If I ever have doubts again, I should just read this chapter of my diary. We both want to meet again, but I leave him to his work for now. My heart is calm again.
I tell Bob and Eric about my conversation with Kevin. I must be the luckiest girl to have three men caring about me.
To be continued. Follow me to get a notification.