Chapter 49: I had you do something that was very intense, painful, scary and lingering

Sir influences my everyday life. It is in the small things, like walking for example. I correct myself, imagining Sir’s voice. Chest up, be proud, you are my proud little one. Arms and legs moving in opposite symmetry. When I see other people walking in a weird way, I often assume they don’t do sports or are not familiar with BDSM.

Tuesday morning. Here I am. Sir’s little one in the first position, nipples decorated with clamps.

“Very good…

I have missed this.

Put your hands behind your head.

Position three,” Sir commands.

I proudly change position, pointing my nipples even more up and hands interlocked behind my head. Hmm, this feels good. I want Sir to feast his eyes on my body.

“Oh baby girl.

I want to torment your nipples so much!

Shake them for me, little twists side to side to move the chain.”

I find it quite funny to sway my body a bit. It shows, my lips are curling up.

“Good girl.”

Sir is moving fast this session. Sir wants me on my back already, to touch myself and spread my pussy lips.

“Such a sweet looking pussy.

Just begging to be abused.

Do you have the heart crop there?”

Of course I have all my toys prepared next to me. I grab the crop and show it to Sir.

“Take it.

Rub it over your pussy.”

I gently rub the crop over my pussy, moving my hips towards the heart shape of the crop. Normally I don’t get so much attention for my pussy this soon. I better enjoy it, because the fun might be over any minute.

“Good girl.

Take the nipple clamp chain in your hand and tug on it.

Keep the crop moving while you do it.”

I do this for a while and there you have it… Sir wants to add some intensity.

“You can let the chain go.

I want you to use the crop on your thighs, 1 each, roughly.”

That only means one thing. Spank myself. Sir builds the intensity up. From one each, to two. Harder each time.

“Good girl.

Touch your thighs with your fingertips.

Stroke them.”

Hmm, this is soothing. Thinking about Sir’s hands stroking me, rewarding me for taking in the roughness.

“Good girl.

Take the crop again.

3 strokes each thigh, same hard intensity.”

I do as instructed. I wish I didn’t have to do it myself, which makes this a good mental training for me, to constant imagine all of this is Sir’s doing.

“Good.

Now, find your plug.

Put it in your mouth for me and then touch your pussy with your fingers.”

Yes! I get some action with my ass. It is both frightening and excited. My ass is so sensitive… Sir is careful and precise. Guiding me with the lube and to keep the erotic high up. I get to continue touching my pussy while easing the plug in and out of my precious star.

“I need my little one to learn these sensations.

To be able to control and overpower the muscle instincts to squeeze.

Focus on that feeling.

And controlling it.

I want to feel your little hole relax entirely when I enter you.

Inviting me in, letting me go deeper and deeper.

OK baby, leave it all the way in.”

I am doing my best to relax, but with this plug it is easy. It is the small dildo that is always hurting a bit while entering me. The hurting is never long though. I do think it will be better if I get Sir’s cock inside of me for real. I can’t compare a dildo with a real cock.

Sir has a new challenge for me, it involves the nipple clamps. I need to loosen them as much as I can. Sir wants me to put it on my clitoris, but before doing that I need to show Sir where I am going to attach the clamp. I grab my clit between my fingers and look up at Sir to get an approval. Sir is pleased, but instructs me to pinch more flesh and then put the clamp on. I put it on, slightly afraid. The clamp falls off… I giggle a bit, it is too loose. Sir wants me to try one more time. This time is sticks. Fuck, it hurts.

“Good.

Now, get your fingers wet and work your nipples.

Pinch them.

Good girl.

Nice and hard for me.”

Yes, this is all for you Sir. This is me giving myself to you, for you to please.

“OK baby.

Now carefully, rub your clit.

Very carefully, to not disturb the clamp.

I want you to keep doing that and take the chain with the other hand.”

I have a frozen image of Sir smiling. I can’t concentrate anymore and need to smile. Sir recalls me and gets right back to it. In the meanwhile my clamps got off. Sir says it is OK.

“Rub your pussy again for me.

Hmm, is my little one wanting to push inside?”

I nod and secretly wish for a cock inside me.

“Soon…

Maybe.”

So cruel! But I love it.

“I want you on your tummy, facing the camera and get your small dildo.

You know what I want to see.”

Does this mean deep throating? I think so.

“Wait…

Not like last time.

Just teasing.

Licking.

Sucking.

No deep throating this time.”

OK, that is a surprise to me. I don’t object to it, because I love making love to Sir’s penis and watching him. The video freezes again. Sir quickly recalls.

“Fuck so good.

I need to see those eyes.”

I am pretty confident with my eyes. I think they are one of my biggest power, bringing out the emotions I feel at that moment. Sweet loving licks, imagining Sir’s warm pulsating penis. I need to feel his cock against my face, touching my tongue and taste his precum.

“OK baby.

You earned it.

Get on your back.

Do not tease…

Get that cock in there.

That’s it baby.”

My pussy feels a bit dry, so it hurts pushing the dildo inside. Doesn’t matter, if I am doing the rape fantasy in the future with Sir, then this is a good training too.

“Lift your knees and put them closer together.

Spank your ass for me.”

I lift my legs up and show to Sir how I spank myself while pounding the dildo in my hurting pussy.

“Good girl.

I need to see your face with this too.”

I turn a bit and give Sir the best possible view. I want him to enjoy every bit of me.

“Get your big dildo.

Put that one in your mouth.

Push the big one in.

Pound that slutty little pussy.”

Fuck. Two cocks forcing themselves on me. Such a big fantasy. Well to be honest, I don’t mind two or more men. Fuck, I want to be used like a fuck toy.

“Fucking love it.

My little slut, being used by 2 cocks.”

I see Sir loving it. I know he is jerking off on me. I love his expression. If only I could hear and feel him too.

“OK baby.

I want to see you fuck that pussy for me.

Push in deeper.”

I do as told, but it still hurts this way. Is it because we moved so fast during this session? Do I need more time? I feel pressured to cum. I just can’t. My mind is blocking me.

“Ready baby?”

I move to the ground in case I still might cum and squirt. I keep on pounding my pussy to please Sir.

“I’m going to cum.

Open your mouth for me.”

I open my mouth as the slut I am. Greedy for Sir’s semen. Fuck, seeing Sir cum is doing it for me. Those thick white fluids spraying out of the top of his delicious penis. Within a minute I also cum, I squirt a fountain and make the whole floor wet. Shaking, trembling. I feel relieved, glad. Very happy that I could cum, feeling successful after all.

“Beautiful.

Such a good little girl!

You worked very hard for me.”

I confess to Eric that my pussy was hurting and apologize that it took so long to cum. I can’t help to feel like I failed there. Eric seems to notice something is off and asks me a few times if I am OK. I admit that is was hard to fuck myself with the big dildo today, that my pussy was hurting so much. Also that it feels like a failure to me and that is hard for me to really let go when my mind is in that negative state.

I know I am a work in progress. Eric says we will work on it, because he says there is no way I could possibly fail with him. In the back of my head I know it, but it is deeper. It goes way back to my youth, to how I was raised. He gives me the message to keep doing what I am doing, because it is exactly what he wants. Eric’s kind words sooth me a bit, but I still feel like I failed.

“Hope I can get over the feeling of failure.”

“OK hold on. What do you think you failed?”

I tell Eric that I feel I failed with cuming. That it took too long. Also the clamps were not working with me. I want to be perfect for Eric. Eric soothes me again and says that taking too long for things will never be a factor to him.

“Your body and mind will take as long as they take.

At this point in your cycle, it will take a little longer, yes.

In another week, it will take less time…

There are many factors.

The heat and your sleeping for example.”

I know Eric is right. I didn’t sleep much, which is true. This is the first time I have this feeling though.

“It felt to me, that I did better in previous sessions.”

“If something is more difficult for you in a session, it is my task to recognize it and try to help you.

Which is why I decided to just cum.

These things are my responsibility more than they are yours.

I had you do something that was very intense, painful, scary and lingering…

And you did it without hesitation.”

“So far I do anything,” I say with a smile.

“You noticed that too eh? LMAO.”

“Hehehe,” Eric makes me laugh again.

“And what score does a Sub like that get?”

I smile again.

“Is she starting to see things how I see them now?!”

“I just blame the fatigue then.”

“Really, there is nothing to blame.

Blame suggest a negative.

There were no negatives.

So, little one… My Sub that will do as ordered so obediently…

I order you to not feel any failure at all and if you start to, remember what I said.

I will be going away from this feeling, it was pretty damned good.”

“OK Sir,” I feel better again.

Eric, I don’t know what I would do without him. I need him in my life. He checks if I am hurt inside, if I bruised my cervix. But I think it is OK. What a sweetheart. I thank him for everything, how he always takes such good care of me. He is truly wonderful.

To be continued. Follow me to receive a notification.

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