Kevin (Ex Lover) · Random thoughts

Random thoughts: Do I want to continue the Kevin adventures after a year?

Wow, a year of secret dates with Kevin. It is time to look back and question myself if I want to continue the Kevin adventures. Kevin and I shared thirteen lucky moments together. I blush and smile when I read the date chapters again, but also feel proud that we survived difficulties.

Kevin had a hard time accepting that Bob knows everything. Over time he has nothing more than respect for my marriage and admires how unconditional my love with Bob is. He deeply misses mutual respect, understanding and chemistry with his girlfriend. His goal to get closer to her is not successful yet.

I remember reading the commercials of the dating website. For example – they advertise that people will relive ‘that spark’ in their current relationship, because of flirting with others. I bet Kevin read it too. It worked for Bob and me. We realize how blessed we are to have each other. Bob will always be my home, my heart… And my puppy dog of course.

I don’t think Kevin is doing his best for his girlfriend, since he is married to his job. It is not that he is overly ambitious, but he gets so excited when there are new areas to explore in his work field. When he talks about his projects I see passion, commitment and a beautiful spark in his eyes. I can’t tell you the details on how he earns his money. Only that it is rewarding and helps humanity in taking steps forward. It is far from a nine till five job and always needs his full attention. His girlfriend and I both suffer from not getting enough ‘Kevin-time’.

Now you see why Kevin can’t date me that often or cancels last minute, but I have to admit… I can have a crammed agenda myself. Bob and I spend a lot of time doing sports (not that we are professionals, but close enough). We are so addicted, that we take a day off for a workout. A lazy sun-sea-beach holiday doesn’t exist in our world. So it works both ways for Kevin and me. The rule to prioritize our own life above our secret adventure has never been broken.

On the bright side, thirteen dates is more than a date each month. A weekly date would be too much for my little Bobby and suspicious towards Kevin’s girlfriend. I find it difficult to be assertive when it comes to dating. Of all the dates, two were in a hotel. Just two… Only because I proposed it to Kevin. I find presenting the idea of a hotel difficult, but I think I will feel less shy with the future third. In the end the two hotel dates where more than worth it. The flashbacks are keeping me warm for months.

Sex wise, Kevin is progressing slowly. He can handle two rounds of lovemaking better each date. Though I wish he had more stamina. His specialty is kissing. The way he kisses me is amazing! I have no complaints about that. He knows how to touch me and turn me on. His finger fucking gets me wetter each date. And then there is his penis. My God, I love his big penis. Every time he enters me, it is like we were meant to connect, but in a parallel world. This chemistry needs to be hidden in this world and that makes our dates so exciting.

Then we had some drama moments. Sometimes I wonder if I am a mental masochist, that I like the pain in my mind. It makes the making up so satisfying! The biggest drama was when Bob wanted me to break up with Kevin. Kevin didn’t gave up on me, he wasn’t scared away by Bob. I truely admired how Kevin and Bob handled the situation.

Kevin had two long periods where he neglected me. At the first one, I thought he wasn’t interested in me anymore. That wasn’t the case, he had an important deadline. After making up, I tried to give him a chance to keep connected. He said I opened his eyes and knows what his absence did to me. But then he got ill for a few months and another period of scary silence appeared. He didn’t communicate, so I confronted him this time! Kevin got scared that I wanted to end our adventure, losing me would be such a waste. It was never his intension to hurt me and he is positive he will never find a chemistry like this again. That was really a compliment. He proved again that I am special to him. I just hope he sees now that he needs to keep the flame burning. Neglect me for a few weeks and I will feel less wanted and desirable. I need attention from time to time or else good communication that I won’t get it. So both of us need to work on this area. Kevin on updating me and I need to sign him when I feel something is wrong.

I also need to accept the man the way he is, including his love for work and his short attention span. Kevin is Kevin. No articles about men on the web were useful to me. It is too generalizing. I concluded that I need to discover him myself and write my own guide of this beautiful being named Kevin.

So… Do I want to continue the Kevin adventures after a year? Yes, I do! As long as Bob approves and I feel that Kevin and I can still progress. Am I going to tell him about Eric? That is another dilemma…

2 thoughts on “Random thoughts: Do I want to continue the Kevin adventures after a year?

    1. You have a point in that! And thank you for your comment. So far I am keeping it a secret. Maybe when he shows interest in my BDSM life. Just have a feeling that he would understand (not without some drama/discussion though).


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