I love two men… And they love me.
Time for a second preface. My diary definitely made a turning point last Autumn. A whirlwind, named Charley, came into our life. I gave a lot of thought on how to continue secretdatesdiary and want to experiment with scribbles, pieces of memories. So yes, my website is making a turning point too. I am letting go the imaginary strict regime in my head, that forces me to write chronologically. It’s new, it’s scary, still an experiment, but the writing will still be me.
To the ones who followed me from the beginning… Thank you. Thank you for reading, thank you for your comments and sweet private messages. I appreciate your touching words so much and felt the sincerity. I never imagined having over a hundred followers. It was never my goal. I feel honored. The second preface might not be completely new to you. But I will open up a little history of Bob and me.
If you are new here, feel free to read from the beginning (Preface 1.0). The content of the chapters is mostly erotic, but also involves the drama which comes with the lifestyle. I can understand reading all those chapters is a bit much. That is why you can read the second preface down here.
My name is Anne. I am in my mid thirties and married to Bob. He is also my cuckold and little puppy.
Bob started as my fuck buddy in our late teenage years. Our first meeting… In my parents bed! I had to convince Bob to come over. He saw me as a ‘good girl’ who was only interested in studying. We never talked about sex. No wonder he thought I was joking, but he was sold when he saw my naughty pictures.
“I am extremely aroused and need to be fucked. I am home alone… Come over?” I typed.
I will never forget that day! Opening the door, pulling him in, passionate kissing and dragging him upstairs.
From that first time on, we had sex everywhere and at every possible opportunity, until I fell in love with my first boyfriend. Bob accepted and respected the fact I wanted to quit being fuck buddies. This was the first sign of cuckolding him, since Bob stayed a friend.
Boyfriend one didn’t work out, neither did boyfriend two. Those flings happened in six months time. I had to be more careful with relationships and promised myself I wouldn’t give myself so easily. I stayed single for a year. Bob (still my friend) always had hope that I would love him, but every one has a limit. He cut contact and that was like drugs to me. I missed him… And suddenly needed him more than ever.
We both realized we had to talk things through. Was it love or just a temporary high? We did our best to turn each other off. We spilled all our dirt. Instead of being disgusted, it caused a stronger attraction between the two of us. And boy… The dirt wasn’t pretty.
The wicked rebel bad boy and the not so sweet goody good girl became a couple.
Sex was booming in our first years, but I still enjoyed flirting online with men. Bob approved. He even jerked himself off while he watched me tease guys in front of the webcam. We both had no knowledge of cuckolding at that time.
In a natural way our sex life slowly grew towards BDSM, where Bob is the submissive. He awakened my sadistic side by asking me to hit him in the face while pounding my pussy. That slapping evolved into mental and physical torture.
I love to humiliate him with fantasies of other men and talking him down to the dog he is. My pussy gets soaking wet when I turn his ass into a canvas with beautiful red whip marks. I guaranteed Bob that fucking other men was only a fantasy. But…
I broke that promise.
Few years back I had a burnout. I had too much on my plate and worried on how to continue life after thirties. I got close to my virtual friend Wesley. He lives one time zone away. Bob allowed my friendship with Wesley and didn’t mind if it turned sexual. At that time I still believed that I wouldn’t do that and most of all… That I couldn’t do it to both men. I was afraid of damaging my marriage with Bob and afraid of playing with Wesley’s feelings, since he was a virgin with a secret crush on me.
Though… The idea of being a naughty wife aroused me.
I carefully planted seeds in my chats with Wesley, gauging if he was into me and if he had an erotic side. Wesley fell for it and turned out to be a very dirty boy.
Bob still remembers the day I told him to go to the other room, so I could have virtual sex with Wesley. Bob wanted to scream “No”, but his raging boner and the alluring level of humiliation made him listen to me, his Queen. I finally learned the term cuckolding via Bob and also educated Wesley to be a Bull.
I had countless virtual sex with my first Bull, while Bob was listening at the door or lying on the cold floor watching me. I even had Bob’s approval to visit Wesley, but there was one condition. I needed to get sterilized first. The three of us agreed. Kids and pregnancy are a nightmare for me anyway. The progress to get sterilized took too long. Wesley got himself a girlfriend. I was broken, but I understood that his girlfriend asked him to cut all contact with me. Still… The selfish Anne wanted to take his virginity, to make love to him. I wanted Wesley to whisper what a dirty slut I am.
Notice: if you are not new, the next paragraphs are a summary of the chapters so far.
After a year of crying over Wesley, I decided to make a profile on a dating site for people in a relationship. I informed Bob about my decision, without discussing it first. I wanted to see his response. Yes, that wasn’t polite and quite sadistic. He was shocked for a few seconds and then went along with it. I met Kevin on the dating site and within a week we had a date (with approval of Bob). Bob was so worried and concerned during it, that he interrupted with a call and begged me to come home. I honored his wish and had a good conversation at home.
I dated Kevin for a year (13 dates in total). It was hot and very erotic, but I couldn’t handle the emotional roller coaster of being HIS mistress. And in the long run, it wasn’t fruitful towards Bob. Kevin would never allow Bob to watch. Our sexual chemistry made me stick around those 12 months. Nobody ever kissed me like Kevin and he was the biggest cock I ever felt.
The chemistry was partly NRE (new relationship energy). Bob and I survived my ‘crazy in love phase’, but it was an extreme relationship test. I wasn’t mature enough to handle and balance all my feelings towards both men. Bob even questioned our marriage. In the end we labeled it as me, being in a midlife crisis and to trust our unconditional love for each other. We will figure it out as long as we keep communicating and learn from our battles.
In the moments of turmoil I met Eric on a forum for hotwives (he lives six time zones away). He became a friend and my virtual Sir. During my time with Kevin I had a lot of support of both Bob and Eric. Both men thought I deserved better, since Kevin had the talent to not check in on me for weeks or months. There was no communication or response why he was absent at all. Bob and Eric never forced me to break up with Kevin. Bob needed me to have this first time experience, to let it be my own choice to end the ‘affair’. I confronted Kevin two times about neglecting me. He was aware of his behavior and blamed work and family for not speaking to me for weeks. I forgave him… Two times… Spread over a half year. Then another month of no communication passed and I realized Kevin would never learn. Not within a decade at least. I wrote one last message to end our secret romance. I even was willing to give him another chance, if he showed sincere effort right away. But he only noticed two months later that I said goodbye and offered a lousy quick fix.
Wesley and Kevin tried to contact me again, but I don’t want to be part of their lives anymore. I was still Wesley’s dream girl, who he could never forget and to Kevin the woman who he had wild chemistry with. They should focus on their own girlfriend.
My favorite Kevin chapter: Chapter 20: like an animal I remove his jeans.
Eric guided me deeper in the world of BDSM and I reached a lot of new erotic highs being his virtual little one. I am not completely new to the world of BDSM, but I never did an internet search about the fetish. I naturally dominated Bob. He loves being my dog. In fact, that is the only form of ‘sex’ we have nowadays. Still… I could use some good pounding from a dominant male. Bob is limited to being submissive behind closed doors. Another reason why we can’t have ‘normal’ sex anymore, is due to his physical limits. The tip of his penis became too sensitive over the years and it is impossible to pull his foreskin back. The minute he enters my pussy hurts him so much that he loses his hard-on. Another thing… Bob’s body can’t handle missionary or other positions which require male strength without feeling pain. I bet you can understand why Bob feels he is failing me when it comes to sex. Though, I can only admire him to let me have other men in my life. It requires a strong mind to convert the jealousy into extreme arousal.
Back to Eric. Bob approved of meeting Eric. The three of us even agreed on a contract made by me, involving safe words and what Eric will do to me. During our Skype sessions Eric loved to see me cry, whimper and struggle. He punished and rewarded me. I always squirted a big fountain as a result. I wished Eric lived closer to my home, so he could use me, his little one. If it were up to me, I took the plane already. But Eric and Bob didn’t allow that. And… Like Kevin, Eric is a cheating man. So meeting each other is not easy. Especially when you live six time zones away.
The distance is also a reason why Eric wished a man for me, who lived closer and could fulfill my sexual needs. I asked Bob to look for a Bull after my breakup with Kevin. That is how Bob found Charley online. Charley and I exchanged a few mails, followed up by a video chat. We met each other the next morning in a park and it was love at first sight. That night, Bob and I had our first ‘real’ cuckold experience. I told Eric about our new man, but after a few days Eric said goodbye to me. He reached a hard limit and couldn’t handle another dominant man in my life. I was devastated… And sad that he made the decision on his own. We didn’t even meet. How could he throw all those months away just like that?
Bob and Charley helped me to move on. I did talk it out with Eric, but it was unavoidable that I am putting my energy into the other two men. I can only hope that Eric can have a happy life too one day.
My dearest Eric chapter: Chapter 42: you will NEVER be a burden to me.
About Charley. He visits us two or three times a week, with consent of his girlfriend. Which is perfect for Bob and me. Our relationship is friendly and erotic. Both men love me. They are so different. Bob is a calm realist and Charley a limitless dreamer. Bob is my little submissive puppy, while Charley ravishes me to his heart’s content. In life I found my soulmate in Bob, but when it comes to pure sex and lovemaking I prefer Charley. Every thrust of his penis is a sensation to my pussy… To my whole body and mind. But… I am still aware it is also the erotic effect of being a naughty wife fucking another man. If I have to choose, I will always choose Bob.
My first time feeling Charley inside me: Chapter 68: Watch closely, you dog! Look at how your little wife is getting fucked!
There you have it. My adventures as a multi lover so far. I hope it never ends.
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